A few days ago, our cat Miles jumped up in the chair with Mom and kind of snuggled up next to her. He'll do that from time to time. Sometimes she wants him there and they'll be best friends, and then other times she pushes him away.
Well, this other night, she decided it was okay for him to sit there. She just kind of sat quietly looking at him as he just snuggled up and purred and the two of them were content in their own little space.
An important thing that I've learned on this journey through Alzheimer's dementia is how important it is to keep her brain stimulated in a way that it can handle. Having her little buddy sitting next to her purring is one of the things that helps her stay engaged in a way that her brain can handle.
On this journey through Alzheimer's dementia, I've learned how important it is that small things like giving her a buddy are in making this journey manageable.
When our cat Miles came to us, it was for an entirely different purpose, but now that he's here, he is that buddy that she can have from time to time and that person or that being with whom she can communicate with in her way.
She doesn't have to try to find her words in order to communicate with him. They can just sit quietly together and enjoy each other's company.
When dementia illnesses arrive, our attention gets directed towards the disruptions and the losses that come with the illness. In that space, it's so easy to get so focused on what a person cannot do, that we lose sight of what a person can still do.
People with dementia illnesses still need social engagement. All human beings need that. However, the presence of this disruptive disease often makes it difficult to determine how to create those social engagements. Dementia illnesses change how people engage with the world. So, it's really important for us with unaffected brains to follow their lead, even though it may seem a little odd, to understand what they need in order to continue engaging with us.
Having Miles as her buddy gives my mom an opportunity to stay present with us in her way.
My encouragement for you this week is to step back and think about how you can support your loved one in remaining present in the way that she or he can be present.
Be well until next time.
-Dr. Sheri
Dr. Sheri L. Yarbrough is an author, caregiver, and founder of Praxis Senior Care-Giving Solutions, a consulting business that works with organizations to provide working family care-givers with practical and easily implemented strategies to help them manage their care journey.
View Dr. Yarbrough's weekly blog on all things caregiving from a caregiver's perspective.
Listen to Dr. Yarbrough's Podcast: Straight Talk for Giving-Care.
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