A few weeks ago, I talked about how frustrated I've been about having to deal with something with my union. It's taken a while, but I've finally found a solution to the problem and I'm moving forward with it.
Finding the answer to the problem helped me realize what was really bothering me most about it. It wasn't so much that I had to deal with something with my union. What bothered me most was the fact that it was taking away the time and energy that I wanted to spend with my mom.
As family caregivers, we don't have extra, and so it can sometimes get very frustrating when we are required to give extra, especially for things that have nothing to do with our loved one and interfere with the time we can have with them.
It was a lot, and sometimes, that frustration would spill over to her, and that wasn't fair. So, I realized I needed to declutter. Having to do extra can create mental clutter. Finding the solution to my issue helped me remember the steps I took to declutter our house.
When I decluttered our house, I gave away the things we didn't need and weren't using to people who could use them. I'm using that same approach to declutter this mental issue that has nothing to do with her so that it doesn't impact her anymore.
As family caregivers, we sometimes forget that our lives and needs don't cease the minute our loved ones' care needs arrive. Decluttering the thoughts and energy we don't need helps us stay focused on using our time and energy to care for our loved ones as well as ourselves.
Frustrations and irritations that have nothing to do with our loved ones will happen as we walk along this journey of care. It's okay to be angry about those things as long as we choose to use that anger to help us help ourselves.
I'm still angry that I had to use my time and energy to fight a battle I shouldn't have had to fight, but I've chosen how I want to use that anger to drive me forward.
My encouragement for you this week is to give yourself space to experience what you're experiencing so that you can choose how you want to live that experience.
Be well until next time.
-Dr. Sheri
Audio Version:
Dr. Sheri L. Yarbrough is an author, caregiver, and founder of Praxis Senior Care-Giving Solutions, a consulting business that works with organizations to provide working family care-givers with practical and easily implemented strategies to help them manage their care journey.
View Dr. Yarbrough's weekly blog on all things caregiving from a caregiver's perspective.
Listen to Dr. Yarbrough's Podcast: Straight Talk for Giving-Care.
I'm loving your blog posts! They seem to appear in my mailbox right when I'm going through a "thang", LOL. Thank you so much for your openness and willingness to share your journey. Be well, Babylon!